Lynner

conference was wowwey

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 02:08:25 GMT

Since the conferece last weekend, I've been thinking a lot about getting more into live journal again. I have some interesting projects going on, interesting stuff to report.

I'm working on converting a car to run on friolator waste oil (see: http://www.greasecar.com, http://www.frybrid.com).

I'm working on managing a team of Belorussian coders for a company here in Minneapolis. That's super interesting.

Also, I'm now leading a volunteer group that packs packages for soldiers who don't get a lot of mail. It's fun. Once a month.

Family Visit Photos - now on Flickr!

Sun, 04 Sep 2005 04:08:59 GMT

Picture 098
Originally uploaded by Lynn Jean.

Had a super visit with the fmaily. The photo highlights are on http://www.flickr.com/photos/smithareen/

family visit

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 19:56:16 GMT

had a nice visit last week from my parents, sister, cousin and nana. everyone loved my new house, and we had a good time visiting all around town.

we went to the fair. i took a lot of pics, so i'll get them up some time soon.

it's good to be back at work, things are quiet again.

i went through and edited out a few of my posts that were here on live journal - i didn't realize how down many sounded. i think i was trying to do therapy through live journal or something. not a good idea. my friends who know me see the whole picture, people reading the account only see a once-bad-mood rant. things are really good these days. as always, there's stuff to work through, but overall, life is grand.

chris and i are planning a vacation later this month to the pacific coast of B.C. he's got a conference, and we're going to spend 4 days extra on a vacation. fun, fun.

New pics of the kitten

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 14:38:57 GMT

PICT0014
Originally uploaded by Lynn Jean.

William Devo D'Lily has a new picture set on flicker...

Things are swell. The kids are over for the weekend, so that's great.

goal: never give up. entry: yesterday was hard (from 43things account)

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 15:12:03 GMT

i had yoga in the morning, that was ok (fun!).

but, i got lost going to the first session of a new art class i’m starting, and was late. i got really stressed. i thought about not going at all as i was 15 minutes late and driving around. i felt like i’d be so disrespectful for walking in late. but, really, it’d be more disrespectful to no-show. and, i wanted to be there! kind of a fear of judgement thing, but i decided that i was the best judge of my situation, and it was all good.

my teacher is really cool. i like her a lot. she started us out with picking out a masterpiece and turning it upsidedown to paint it.

it was a little over my head because i’d never even put paint to canvas before. it’s a beginner/intermediate class. i’m going to have to be humble. many of the paintings came out real nice -some great artists in my class. i got 2/3 of the way finished, and it’s like big blocks of dark color. primitive is the word i thought of. i didn’t even know that acrylic dries out as you work, so i put out a bunch of paints, worked real focused on blue, and my other stuff dried out. it was actually quite a good learning experience, i learned a lot – trial by big fire style.

well, there’s the starting point. i’m going to go get some more art supplies today and work on it over the week before the next class.

stress

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:37:59 GMT

so, how to reduce the stress or, better yet, set up ways to process it so that when you have it you deal with it healthily?

slowly, but surely

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 14:18:21 GMT

I’m getting back into yoga. I am amazed at how I can’t touch my toes in the morning.

Seems like practice is like a lot of life things. In the begnning, there’s a lot of effort, and then a reduced-effort maintenance pattern.

But, if you stop that reduced-effort, then surely, you do decend back to the bottom of the hill.

I’m taking the climb more slowly this time. 2-3 times a week, when I want, I get in a 20-30 minute session. But, I’m keeping my awareness open – that’s a big difference than the old attitude of eye-on-the-ball of progress and how I look. Now, eyes are able to focus more on do I like this? What do I like, can I do more of that?

For some reason, the former perspective brought with it an automatic feeling of hatred of the activity that I shoved down. I guess if I needed that much mental effort to get myself to class (my body was malnurished and over-stimulated, i see now), it must be a horrible activity.

So, a very enjoyable activity became unaprecieated and a chore because of the too-fast eyes-closed blind rush to the wrong sort of goal-motivation.

Note to self: don’t do that. teehee.

Gilda D'lily and Willy D'lily

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 16:04:25 GMT

Gilda D'lily and Willy D'lily hugging
Originally uploaded by Lynn Jean.

I just figured out how to post from my flickr account - here's the new kitten!

package sent

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 19:48:59 GMT

i adopted a guy, scott, off of operationminnesotanice.com…

i sent off my first care package today.

candy, suntan lotion, handheld puzzle games, cards, etc.

i’m signing up to start a chapter of the club in delano. wow. i’ve totally ‘gone country’ – but, i can’t imagine how hard it is for the troops that are deployed and not getting any/much correspondence from home.

yeah! i’ve achieved my first completed of my 43 things.

See more progress on: adopt a soldier

something to write home about

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 15:27:26 GMT

so. been a long time since my last post. not too much going on in the last month. i started a new job and promptly got my bike stolen. i've been taking the bus. that's really fun.

catman ran away for good. we'll miss him.

but, yesterday, something kind of big did happen.

i bought 1/2 of a house. my first (um 1/2) house, so it's pretty exciting. chris bought the other 1/2. it's not a duplex, we just went in together on it.

342 77TH ST SE
DELANO, MN 55328
MLS#: 2328883

so, it's on a lake. private beach. i really like that. the market is really great for buyers right now. so, we talked them down from the listing price.

i'm worried that i'll miss my city friends. the idea of being away from the city is a little troubling. oh! i'm just going to have to take up windsurfing, kayaking, ice fishing and knitting to entertain myself. haha.

actually, i'm not to far away and i'm going to be coming into the city every day for work. so, i'll see people. and, who am i kidding? i a hermit/workaholic. i say that with all the love in the world to myself, but it's true.

that said, i love visitors and would be happy to have people out. sleepovers! fun.

catman is not a lost cat

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 14:13:39 GMT

catman took a vacation to the humane society. it's a funny/scary story:

he didn't come back for several days, so i decided to go look for him at animal control. the pound didn't have him, (even in their DOA logs - egats!). but, they suggested i go look at the humane society. they keep cats that people bring in, vs. the pound, which generally gets them from call-in complaints.

the humane society had him. they said they only keep cats on 'stray watch' for less than a week. they get about 55 cats a day, and can't keep them long. if the owner doesn't come, then they go over to the adoption room.

but, catman is un-adoptable because he has a level-2.5 heart murmer.

so, he was scheduled to be taken off of stray watch last night. but, not go to adoption.

geeesh.

i was glad to see him!

he, on the other hand, did NOT seem glad to see me. the expression was distinctly an angry, resigned, 'just, let's get out of here. now.'

he perked up a few hours later after playing with his sister and chris' kids.

American Psychological Association Backs Gay Marriage

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 14:50:59 GMT

here's a news tidbit (American Psychological Association Backs Gay Marriage ) that didn't get picked up too well by the media, considering all the coverage lately about gay marriage amendments, etc.

i caught it on the yahoo home page...

and, i found it interesting that a google search turned up pretty much only articles from opposing-opinioned sites. but, also interesting that they seem to have more facts around the issue in their articles; mostly ones that support the gay rights position, if you strip out the anti-gay leaning of their writing. interesting.

APA Endorses Homosexual "Marriage"

"Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality"--American Psychological Association Statement on Homosexuality.

monday morning

Mon, 02 Aug 2004 14:45:39 GMT

i'm feeling pretty good about getting into a pattern. sunday is for cleaning the house, monday is for working, etc... it's good to have a schedule again.

spent time with the new tadpole and parents yesterday. what a great family. he is so cute, and definitely looking like he's going to be long and slender... like greendreams said. i can't believe it's been two months.

i talked to ladoll this morning, and i'm happy for her new relationship development... for selfish reasons, of course. the happier she is in woooochester, the more likely she'll still be there when i come back home someday. hahaha.

and, we're both on the 'very likely' list for going to cozumel with everyone in january. fun, fun in the sun, sun with no s-n-o-w.

moving on up

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 15:12:25 GMT

i'm getting very aware that my lease and work contract are up in november. i'll be a free bird; no ties. i've been trying not to think about it... enjoy the now.

but, of course i think about it.

isn't it a little strange that the modern-ity has released us from a required general path? before, you had lots of choices, but you lived in a general context worn in by others, who's example you could model. yeah, you could break out, but even then, you had a context to break from.

now, it's like there is no set path. you're not navigating a river, rather bobbing around the ocean. funny analogy. the ocean can bring you to many fine places.

not to say the well-worn-in path of tradition isn't available. i certainly could get married, enjoy children, etc. it's just that having a huge range of choices has left me realizing i don't have to, and therefore i resist it.

where does that leave me? reminding myself, once again, that i have a fabulous three months that i don't have to think about any of it! :)

i bought a bike this weekend. i had them put a super-cool seat on it. that's fabulous. i really like it.

anyone want to go for a ride sometime?

oh! and, we rented 'the new guy' this weekend - one of those movies nobody has heard of. but, it was really funny, so i recommend it.

weekend off

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 22:07:11 GMT

it's so nice to look forward to the weekend off.

i'm going to go look for a new bike.

i was just reading an article that bears on my earlier journal entry about being happy being single...

>>
Women Say Single Life is Better?

BERLIN (Reuters) - More than 80 percent of single German women are perfectly happy without a man in tow and say living solo gives them more freedom to do what they want, according to a survey for Stern magazine.

Coming amid mounting political alarm about Germany's low birthrate and aging population, the survey of 1,003 women showed only two percent did not enjoy their solitary lifestyle and 36 percent opted to stay single because it was more fun.

Almost half the women said they preferred single life because it was easier to keep their homes tidy and 36 percent said with no man on the scene they didn't have to endure watching sports on television.
>>

I love the part about why they think it's better.

yeah! the weekend.

newsflash

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 18:12:05 GMT

i broke things off with my boyfriend... like, a week ago.

but, i keep surprising everyone by forgetting that i haven't mentioned it.

portland

Fri, 16 Jul 2004 15:14:07 GMT

i was out with a native portlander last night. she has been here for a year, and is moving back there in october. i'm definetly going to visit her out there. it sounds fabulous. i was thinking that i might need a new city to move to, perhaps. it'll be interesting to go check that place out.

i then got an email from a friend who is out there visiting around the west coast and was gushing about how he loves portland. loves the little pastry shops and culture...

i have to say, i do like minneapolis. but, it really is the things like the Pix Patisserie (that he went to) that are really missing. there is some, but very little, fun-fun hip, bold experiences to be had. i feel like you have to seek them out, (barbette or cafe latte), and then feel a little like you are going against the grain of the place here?? minneapolis just isn't basically full of bright, diverse go-and-get it culture...

i don't mean to be minneapolis bashing. there is a great artist underground, and maybe i just need to move over to northeast so i can feel more swell. haha.

it's not about wanting me to be fabulous, really. it's more about wanting to be surrounded by a strong feel...

here's a quote from the aforementioned email:

"Earlier in the day, while driving around the Hawthorne District, I had happened upon a French patisserie called Pix Patisserie; we have no such place that I know of in the Twin Cities. I pulled quickly over to the curb and bounced inside, and my eyes popped right out of my little head! OH, the exquisite treats displayed in that case, all with marvelous names, like Amelie, and Pink Flamingo. I fell for Aphrodite, a magnificent creation featuring a dark chocolate ganache coating a sumptuous chocolate mousse with a cherry mousse in the very center, and topped with a fresh bing cherry. Yum! So, after dinner, I returned to Pix with Jack in tow (and pleased that I could introduce him to it since, miraculously, he had never been there!), along with Andy and Jeff, and we all indulged ourselves, each with a unique creation....and of course, sharing was in order. Jack ordered this amazing pear-rosemary tart. Happy, happy. Fabulous desserts, splendiferous company, in a place with so much soul. We walked along the eastern promenade of the Willamette afterward, enjoying the still warm night and the lights of the city in the water. Sometimes life is very, very good. "

maybe i'm just missing a little of that boston/nyc vibrant culture thing. perhaps the more subdued nature of this place (which can be fabulous), creates a lack of bold, vibrant outlets. a hesitancy for striking individuality, and people doing 'their thing' and sharing it... i'm thinking of fanuiel hall, the lobster shacks on the ocean, southie, the north end, all the different neighborhoods in new york, province town, little bold pastry shops with tons of carachter...

i compare those to nicollet mall, and i think that nicollet mall just feels a little commercial and grasping... like, well, we've got to keep the prada somewhere, so here's a district for it. but, prada never showed up.

anyway, it's a feeling i'm trying to get at. perhaps so i can root it out.

i've been thinking of buying a house, and it brings up that question if i'm in the right place for me or not...

anyone else know what i'm talking about?

tata friends. (thanks for tuning in!)

knowing yourself, 101 - still in it!

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 15:29:18 GMT

i was watching a debate on gay marriage last night on TV. and, they were talking about how much change has happened since biblical times, and that a lot of that edict is no longer appropriate. ie. women are educated and don't need to rely on old honor systems that make sure everyone is cared for.

it got me thinking about my life, and the ideas i have of how i am supposed to live it. i feel like i'm supposed to be on this grand quest for a mate. but, do i yearn for someone by my side? at times, i don't want to be fighting, analyzing, and borrowing in that path.

it seems more natural that i should enjoy myself. if i find myself spending a lot of time with someone i develop feelings for, then it's natural that i would start to think of what to do with that.

this is backwards from trying to pursue the goal of finding 'the right person' - which, is kind of perfectionist and superficial. it brings with it all my pre-conceived notions of what is going to make me happy -- rather than just finding happiness and going 'oh, hum, i liked that... more of that, please...'

so, then i was reading something this morning that struck a chord.

'It's very hard to be true to one's own needs, boundaries and desires in ways that are honest yet also respectful and loving towards all involved. In the past I had learned some difficult lessons and I regret ... I've permitted some of the things that I had learned about my own limitations to be disregarded.'

so - here's someone who is even further down the process, and is realizing that being true to your own limitations and boundries is very important. perhaps, your wants, too? (i'm still working on the elementary level sometimes)

for me, i'm still trying to figure out what makes me joyous, what makes me feel good...

and, there's always the base pre-conceived notion that i'll even find interaction with another person joy generating. maybe i'm just happy working, working out, reading, eating, sleeping, and doing it all again?

is that so bad? do i have to run out and get some paxil (haha)? or, just accept that i am a financially self-sufficient woman who doesn't actually need to have a mate?

suitor disclaimer: it's a thought process, not a decision. :)

repremanded

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 15:28:47 GMT

ouch. had to go to a meeting with my boss so that she could vent about me being out too much last week (hello? selling the restaurant). sometimes, i'm not so good at playing subservient worker bee. still, i should have been more communicative last week, and not have slacked off so much. i totally admit my part. but, still, not fun to have to get the consequences.

i've been thinking of going out to Maine with ladoll this weekend, but don't think it's going to come together. :( perhaps a trip to mt. rushmore or something.

a friend of mine made me a bike from an extra frame and parts he had. i love the way he likes me... you know? and, i'm sooooo looking forward to going to for long rides. lots of them.

munchalicious

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 14:47:49 GMT

some of my employees partied pretty hard last night... i'd not realized a lot about some of them. it was good to just be totally social.

we had a lot of fun. closed up at 11. 8 or so good friends showed up around 10. perfect size party. we got really hungry, and that was fun... by 1ish most of my close friends had gone. in came some neighborhood people who i really enjoy. the four of us hung out until about 2.

i do feel a little slow at work today. unusual. but, i'm leaving in 1/2 hour to go sign papers and be done.

wish me luck on the closing.

i'm sooooo going to just sleep this weekend. wow! a whole weekend off. yippee.

hello world

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 19:58:35 GMT

i'm implementing a broadvision CMS - new coding. so, the first thing to do is make a little application and run it to make sure the setup is correct. the traditional coding app. is 'hello world.' this means, just create an application that prints 'hello world' on the screen to make sure you're base is wired right for the more complex code.

i've done this many times, but i think i'm just weirdly happy today.

it seemed significant.

i feel like it's time to awaken and enjoy the world. i'm very conscious of all the time opening in my life. i'm enjoying having my sh*t together for a while... i _am_ so enjoying being surrounded by people who just simply accept me. i feel like i can expand. is this stream of consciousness is making it really apparent that my mom was a therapist?? :)

my job here is sooooo cool. the coding is interesting. i'm going to be working from home for two days a week soon.

i highly recommend Fahrenheit 9/11. anyone seen it? what did you think?

farewell current iteration

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 19:45:52 GMT

selling the cafe is a little sad. the good parts about it were really good. i'm amazed at times by some of the things i've done to keep that together.

without the help of everyone, it wouldn't have turned out so wonderful. i'm so thankful...

i'm happy with selling. it's right.

wednesday is the last day. thursday morning i go to sign papers.

i'm going to be hanging out wed. night (after 10). just spending time with whoever shows up (no big party!), and maybe going out to celebrate after amanda closes up at 11. definetly open invite - come on over if you'd like.

it's all good

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 20:14:29 GMT

thanks everyone for calling about my last post - i'm so blessed. ladoll, we've got to go to texas some time soon. :)

i realized a lot of what the mood was about. as the cafe project winds down, the removal of that distraction has exposed my discontent with major areas of my life - work, social, romantic, etc. i'm not really feeling joyful about any of it... not fulfilled. sounds bad, but actually, great thing to realize.

i'm looking forward to the summer. less work, more going and doing fun things. time to put down the work hammer and go to a contra dance. in a manner of speaking.

i'm not going to play soccer anymore. totally unfulfilling, and jarring. i've been doing more yoga.

i'm happy with the decision on the cafe sale, but a little sad that the burgeoning community is going to be dissipated a bit. i was really enjoying the evenings out on the sidewalk sipping tea and talking until the end of the night (and beyond).

it'll all be a happy memory soon.

i met with the new owners yesterday. the next few weeks are going to be a little trying.

interesting thing - the new uniform is kilts. everyone has to wear them. this is going to be interesting to watch.

underwhelm??

Mon, 21 Jun 2004 16:06:49 GMT

it's been a weird few weeks. i don't know if it's because i've been sick, but i've been totally unable to get anything responsible done. it's weird- sometimes, i get this 'doing things' paralysis. but, it's the little things. i have no idea why. i still haven't paid my rent. i made out the check and it sits next to my door (i just have to walk it downstairs and put it in the slot). and, i have a list of people to call and talk to about little things, mostly cafe-wrapup stuff, and i just can't do it... it's really weird, because i don't feel depressed - not like i'm sitting at home sad. i'm actually having a good-feeling few weeks. i'm relaxing a lot. but, it's a weird 'can't do anything that would be responsible' paralysis... like, the kind i get when i'm too overwhelmed. but, it's like after having the pressure that i've been under for the last year lifted, it's underwhelm paralysis.

i'll figure it out. or, not. but, it'll pass either way.

i'm dating a guy who is a doll. fun for a bit. things are good, but there's spots. not good to talk about on livejournal... :)

i did sell the cafe. signed papers last week. it'll turn over july 1. or, a little later if the buyers need to wait for a committee meeting to get their license. the buyers are nice guys. pretty overwhelmed and freaking out. they are going to open a celtic coffeeshop. i'm trying to be really supportive. i find myself biting my lip and trying really hard not to point out that their logo looks like one of the southpark characters... you know which one??

anyway, this strange feeling in the last week - i actually think it feels a little self-destructive, or turtle-pullin-it's-head-in. i'll have keep my eye on it. i think it's ok to indulge that for a bit. but, there's a lot to do in the next few weeks before i can really relax.

baaaaaby!

Wed, 26 May 2004 17:19:21 GMT

i'm in love.

he's so cute!!

babies definitely make you feel all smiley.

all aiden all the time: aiden1 aiden2 aiden3